


Breaking the Pattern

by Darkprism



Series: Monoshizukanohi [20]
Category: Bleach, Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Humor, BDSM, Bondage, But working on it, Costumes, Dom/sub, Dominance, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Impact Play, Leather Kink, M/M, Monoshizukanohi, Not healthy relationship, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Toys, Submission, Toys, dysfunctional couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 21:11:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkprism/pseuds/Darkprism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After speaking to Shikamaru, Sasuke wonders if it's possible for him to change his ways and improve his relationship with his beloved Naruto.</p><p>Last in the Naru/Sasu series: Salvation, Breaking Point, Breaking the Rules and then this one. Best read in conjunction with the short side story, "Checkmate."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Pattern

Uchiha Sasuke paced the length of the ballroom, vodka Kool-Aid in one hand and cell phone in the other. Window to door was twenty-five long strides, and every pass took him by a wing-backed chair and the tacky bear rug in front of the unlit fireplace. The hardwood was worn and cool under his bare feet, the house that Sasuke had called home since he was sixteen creaked beneath the gusty night winds, and Sasuke despaired that there wasn't enough vodka and Valium in the world to drown his unrelenting, compiling anxiety.

Not that he'd ever admit to another human being that he was capable of such a mundane, limp-wristed emotion. Stressed, thinking too much, overworked and underappreciated -- absolutely. Sasuke was never above anything that gave him an excuse to be perpetually pissed. He _liked_ pissed. Angry, enraged, irked, irritated, inconsolable -- all those things made perfect sense and were always allowed.

But… worried? Oh _hell_ no. That meant there was something to worry _about_ which was way too close to admitting that he was--  
__  
Wrong. Screwed up. A disappointment of a human being.  
  
\--misunderstood. Right. Sasuke was just perpetually maligned. By everyone. Even himself.

"Fuck," Sasuke said, conversationally, to absolutely no one.

Checking the clock for the millionth time, Sasuke sighed. It was half-past eight, Naruto was due to call from London at any moment, and in Sasuke's three-vodka drinks down stupor, he admitted to himself that he was dying to talk to Naru. If put on the rack and subjected to torture, Sasuke would deny it to the bitter end, but in truth, Sasuke _needed_ the man in the way Sasuke only ever needed his lover for comfort, support, reassurance--

"An ass beating," Sasuke grumbled, draining the last drop from his Old Fashioned and staggering to the mantle for a refill. He glowered at the knowing look in the dead bear's eyes -- " _The hell you looking at, asshole_?" -- and tried not to remember body oil, slow kisses, long hours of kneeling, watching Naruto jerk off. Watching Naruto smile, laugh… 

…stare into the distance with that goddamned wistful look that broke Sasuke's teeny tiny coal-rock of a heart into chipped fragments. 

Sasuke sank onto the rug, coated his favorite pair of Diesels with two shots of alcohol and sticky kids' drink, and cussed. He swore right then and there if he ever got that damned Nara cornered, Sasuke was going to set the jerk on fire without the benefit of safewords.

Because, obviously, it was all Shikamaru's fault that Sasuke had a head full of niggling doubts over his ability to be a good partner, lover… or other things. If they'd never had that stupid conversation last Sunday in the poorly executed luxury of Neji's reception area -- if the Nara had kept his trap shut about things like weaknesses, needs, and the insane rationale behind wanting to play submissive to an uptight douche like the Hyuuga -- then Sasuke never would have connected the happiness in others' lives with the sadness in Naruto's eyes. Wouldn't have put together his brooding uneasiness with his stifled desire for self improvement because Naruto was the only human on the goddamned planet worthy of and cursed with the likes of Sasuke. And Sasuke wouldn't have had that dawning moment of realization that maybe -- just maybe -- Sasuke wanted and Naru wouldn't mind a change of pace. Maybe they even deserved it.

Yeah, without the damned Nara's interference, Sasuke could have gone on steadfastly ignoring the obvious like any sane man should.  
__  
"…I have to know what the fuck I'm talking about or we wouldn't be having this conversation… Sasuke, you're not stupid."  
  
Draining half the glass in one gulp, Sasuke held the cut crystal aloft while he fell back on the rug hard enough to knock the wind out of his lungs. More vodka sloshed onto the rug, and Sasuke didn't care. Maybe he could wrap the Nara in the rug and _then_ set him on fire. Two birds, one righteous blaze.

Sasuke groaned and threw an arm over his eyes. He supposed it wasn't exactly fair to saddle Shika with all the guilt. Especially not when everyone else made such easy targets.

First it was Gai and Lee -- and who the hell ever thought _that_ would work? Sasuke would never have gone near that sweaty karate _gi_ explosion of angst waiting to happen if Sakura didn't have a memory on her like a steel trap. All those times she used to run interference for Sasuke when he couldn't bear to look Naruto in the face but _had_ to give the moron a piece of his mind… well, apparently they added up, and Sakura remembered the precise tally. Damn her.

But somehow those two were badly-cut-bangs deep in true love, and Sasuke swore that was the finger flick of fate that started the dominos falling. Next came pencil dick pretty boy Neji and his oh-so-observant Shikamaru. If Gai and Lee were unlikely, then those two were this year's winners of the Impossible Couples Award. The lazy ass and the OCD prince: so _obviously_ a match made in fuck-your-logic heaven. And they were happy, of course -- devoted, kind, supportive, and sweet enough for dental hygiene warnings.

Then along came Itachi and the Oh Take Master Twins. Sasuke shuddered, drank, and still had to admit that his brother seemed… deliriously content. Late in the night when dawn was still hours away, no one was around to see Sasuke wide awake, and his head throbbed with the beginnings of the increasingly common hangover, Sasuke could admit that he loved seeing his brother smile again. Wanted the guy less twisted and more tranquil, but it was all so hard, now, because whenever they'd go over for a visit, Naruto got _that_ look on the drive home.

The _wouldn't it be nice if_ look. The, _Jesus Sasuke, why are you such a bitch_ expression.

Not that Naruto ever said such things or made comparisons or even spoke negatively about either their relationship or their friends'. And maybe Sasuke could have written it off as Naruto's dom side waking up and taking notice in the presence of two such abject submissives, but that hope died a fish-flopping-on-dry-land death when Kiba called just before Naruto went out of town.

Everybody knew Kiba had taken up residence in CrazyTown when he went after Señor Psychopath. Sasuke banked on Kiba ending up dismembered in a ditch, but when he called to tell Naruto good news, Sasuke could only sit nearby and listen to his rationalizations crumble.  
_  
"Dude! Where the hell have you been?"_

_"Wait, what happened to your car?"_

_"Dogs? The fuck do you--"_

_"Where the hell did find the hour to make out in the first place? And how was it?"_

_"Shit, man, did you just use the words 'beautiful' and somebody's name in the same sentence with a straight fucking face?"_

_"Okay, okay… not 'straight' face, then. Yeah… yeah… I know man. I get it. Just don't do anything terminally stupid, right? I kinda like my best friends above ground and breathin'."_  
  
So now, apparently, everyone was seasick with love. Even Sasori and Deidara were their version of blissful, Iruka and Kakashi were just nauseating, and last time Sasuke laid eyes on Kuchiki and Urahara at a For the Arts Benefit, even they had that swacked _been laid but good_ twinkle in their eyes.

Sasuke hated them all uniformly in that intoxicated moment, and the list of people to kill was getting longer by the second. He had no idea how he'd ever find the time to do them all in and still manage beauty sleep and chores. Which reminded him: the cleaning crew was forgetting to dust the dungeon again, and God that pissed Sasuke off. He absolutely had to get that straightened out because Naruto was coming home the day after tomorrow…

…and Sasuke was pretty sure that the impending emotional Armageddon was going to take up all his free time that he usually reserved for murderous rampages.  
__  
"If Naruto hasn't left your ass on a street corner by now, he's never going to. So stop being a chicken shit and tell Naruto that you're done fighting what you want."  
  
Fuck. Just _fuck_. Why on God's paved earth did Sasuke ever open his mouth to the Nara? It was bad enough to know trouble brewed and only Sasuke could fix it. But he could barely face his own desires, much less the awesome wall of bad possible outcomes, and to have the Nara add everything up, spew forth drunken Yoda wisdom, and imply that everything would come out in the green? When _Sasuke_ \-- the man actually in the fucking mess -- wasn't sure that was true? 

Honestly, if he wasn't dunking himself in alcohol every night, Sasuke was pretty sure he'd be spending all his time consolidating prescription medicines or maybe finding some innocent animals to kick. 

Because much like anxiety, Sasuke found it nigh-on impossible to admit that some third party understood his problems better than he did, much less have the right take on what Sasuke should do about it. Giving somebody that much credit was against Sasuke's religion.

Kesha's, "Your Love Is My Drug" began to play, and Sasuke yelped. He got his glass to the ground, groped for the phone, and jabbed the right portions of the screen to make it work. "Hey."

"Hey," Naruto answered, and God but he sounded awful.

"What's… is there something wrong?" Sasuke asked.

"Naw, just tired. And I still can't deal with the jetlag."

"Oh." Sasuke's mouth worked, nothing came out, and he tossed back the last of the too-sweet drink.

"The hell's wrong with you?" Naruto asked.

"What do you mean?" Suddenly Sasuke's heart was in his throat, and he gnawed the rim of the tumbler.

"You've been drunk every night since I left. You missin' me or somethin'?"

Sasuke stiffened. _Yes, I miss you, moron. Want you here to tell me I'm not going to fuck us up, that you'll love me anyway, say that the Nara's right so I don't have to. Want to tell you what I want so badly I can taste it. Want you to want me so much I can't breathe. And it's not just the fucking or the Scene. It's everything. And it feels like it's going to kill me._

"Of course not," Sasuke retorted, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "Just a lot on my mind. You know."

"Uh-huh," Naruto said, the background rustling as he shifted. "Why don't you pretend I don't know and tell me about it?"

Sasuke let the empty Old Fashioned roll away and lay down on his side, knees tucked toward his chin. 

"C'mon, Sas… you know I love listenin' to you talk." Sasuke snorted, and Naruto chuckled before pitching his voice low into a bad imitation of southern accent. "You got such a pretty voice, boy."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It's bullshit. Just… thinking about stuff to do since you're gone all the time."

"Like what?" Naruto asked, not rising to the barb, and Sasuke felt a coil of tension unwind in his guts.

"I don't know," Sasuke mumbled. "Maybe the gym or something. Train again."

"You want to spend time with Gai and Lee?" Naruto asked, voice slow with incredulity.

"Hell no. Not that dojo -- the other place downtown. Victory."

"Oh," Naruto sighed. "For a second there I thought you'd lost what little mind you've got left."

_No. Not yet._

"Fuck you," Sasuke said lovingly. "Saw Sasori the other day. He goes to Victory."

"Oh, and he'd make an awesome gym buddy."

A dead man wouldn't miss the tone. "He's not that bad."

"Are we talkin' about the same guy? Redhead? Creepy fucker? Likes to torture people in the name of beauty?"

"It's not torture. And you could do with your ass waxed, by the way."

Naruto laughed. "Well, you'd know."

For some reason that put Sasuke on the defensive, and he didn't bother reasoning through it. "Yeah. I would. And while we're talking about people you don't like, I'm doing some work for Hidan."

"I don't fucking believe it," Naruto said, and it was on the tip of Sasuke's tongue to tell Naruto off, to articulate exactly how Sasuke felt about Naruto's stark view of humanity, and to hang up, but Naruto's mock gasp gave Sasuke pause.

"You? Work? You're shittin' me."

Sasuke yanked the phone away from his ear, jaw clenching to trap words he didn't want to say and emotions he didn't want to feel. He heard Naruto calling his name, and Sasuke dragged the phone back to listen. 

"I'm teasing, baby," Naruto said.

"Whatever." Sasuke fisted the rug, pulled at the nap.

"What are you doing for him?"

"Nothing." Curling tighter into a ball, Sasuke wished the pitcher of oblivion was closer. Wished the contents would actually do their job for once.

"Sas… I'm sorry." And the voice was so gentle, Sasuke scrunched his eyes shut in the vain hope that blocking vision would somehow block hearing. "Please tell me?"

"Artwork," Sasuke mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Ran into Hidan and the gang at the art benefit. He wanted to find this rare Sai painting depicting a bondage scene." Sasuke swallowed. "Figured I'd ask Itachi if he could put me in touch with the guy who finds pieces for his collection and… you know…"

"That's great!" Naruto said, and Sasuke winced at the enthusiasm, though he knew it was both genuine in intent despite being forced in execution; Naruto was exhausted. "You thinkin' of maybe doing that more often? I know you found that sculpture thing for Kisame."

Sasuke shrugged to himself. "Maybe."

"Well. I think it'd be amazing if you did. Give you something to do that you're great at. Help people out." Naruto paused when Sasuke didn't answer. "I’m proud of you." 

Shivering at the dropped tone and careful inflection at once so familiar and yet still damned effective, Sasuke licked his lips as his pulse sped up. "Proud of me?" He tried to make the words derisive, but they came out curious, instead.

"Sure. You're brilliant at anything you put your mind to, Sas."

The praise made the dam Sasuke tried to sandbag begin to bow. If Naruto didn't have a problem with Sasuke working or hanging out with people Naruto didn't even really _like_ , then... maybe he really wouldn't mind Less Bitchy Sasuke, Beta Version, and somehow everything would be all right. Maybe. Possibly. Perhaps. 

"Hidan said there's a group going to a convention next month?" Sasuke said the words, clapped a hand over his mouth, and had an answer for a question long undecided: temporary demonic possession was, indeed, possible.

"Convention?"

Sheer terror stole Sasuke's voice and the anger that followed made spots of black taint his world's view. He had no idea why he brought that up. Sure, he had a conversation with Dei and Hidan at the benefit about the training seminar on the West Coast. And yes, Sasuke gave it some thought afterward, but not seriously. And he'd never actually bring such a thing up to Naruto. Not _now_. Hell, not ever. It implied that Sasuke considered improvement, which meant deficiency, which meant that Naruto would--

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"Just checkin'. You all right?"

"Fine. Just. Nearly spilled my… drink."

"Oh. Okay. So, what kind of convention?" 

Now Naruto sounded interested -- gamer geek kind of interested -- and Sasuke beat his head against the floor. It helped. "You wouldn't want to go."

"Because Hidan and Kakazu and that crowd's going or…?"

"N-no." Sasuke bit his tongue. Stammering was entirely not allowed. He screwed up courage, though still all he could manage was a whisper: "It's a sub thing." Sasuke's teeth clacked shut, and he prayed Naruto wouldn't make him repeat himself.

"Oh…" Naruto said. "So that's why you're… and why you sound so…"

"Why I'm what?" Sasuke hissed.

"Drinking. And tense."

Sasuke wanted to throw the phone, cry, and scream. But he didn't know the proper order, so he settled for making his lip bleed.

"Did you want to go?" Naruto asked.

"No!" Sasuke barked, and at least that was the truth.

"Then why'd you bring it up?" 

And still the man was merely inquisitive; calm. Not angry or upset or anything he should be, and Sasuke didn't know if he hated himself or Naruto more. "I don't know!"

"All right," Naruto called back, louder, and that satisfied Sasuke on some level. "It's not like I'd make you go to one of those things, Sas."

Sitting up, Sasuke shoved hair out of his face and watched a tree branch claw at the window across the room. _God, make me go. Tell me I need training and help and somebody to show me how to behave because I keep disappointing you. Tell me you'd love me more if I did it. Tell me you love me anyway if I don't. Tell me why you won't make me, why you put up with this, why I feel so awful, and get home so you can hold me._  
  
"Good," Sasuke said in a huff.

"I mean… Sas, you don't need strangers telling you how to be submissive. We could talk over anything you're worried about or wanted to--"

"It just struck me as humorous that Hidan brought it up is all," Sasuke said, smooth as silk. "Jesus. Hidan. What a handful."

"Yeah…" Naruto agreed, but distracted, and it worried Sasuke when Naruto began to sound that kind of thoughtful.

"Tell me about your day."

"Eh… it was boring. Though there's this guy here you'd think was hot as fuck." And off Naruto went expounding on the details -- glamorous, humorous, banal -- of his work, the trip, his plans. Sasuke listened, curled up into a ball on the floor with his eyes closed. The more Naruto talked, the calmer Sasuke felt, and he let his mind go blank. He let go of Naruto's pinched expressions and his own uncharacteristic self-doubt.

Stupid. It was all so _stupid_ , and he was totally -- absolutely and entirely -- going to kill the Nara.

~*~

Sasuke craned his neck to see the clock: three a.m., the devil's hour. Dawn too far away, all's silent except the voices in one's head, and the options for personal torment include the Home Shopping Network or straight porn.

Cursing, Sasuke sat up, threw a pillow across the room, and hugged his knees. He looked left and saw Naruto's empty side of the bed, saw his laptop lying closed, and Sasuke considered jerking off again but the thought made him irrationally angry. He turned to the nightstand and saw the stack of books he kept there, but his brain felt full of red fog, eyes full of black sand, and somehow Sasuke didn't think Stephen King was going to help right now. He fell sideways onto the mattress, fisted his phone, and thought about dialing Naruto. It was eight a.m. in London, and Naruto would take the call no matter what. Maybe it would help…

…maybe it wouldn't.

Sasuke's head ached, and he gnashed his teeth at indecision. He hadn't lost this much sleep since the night before the damned poker tournament at Break, and that all had to do with excitement and nothing to do with this… this… whatever the hell.

And thinking about the tournament night was yet another classically bad idea. Sasuke dug the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, trying to shove the memory of failures past out of his brain. The caning in the private room, the tower, Kiba and the flogger, the deal making, the anger, Naruto spanking--

Apparently, the world really _did_ revolve around the Nara. Began and ended with the asshole's existence. "Oh my fucking God," Sasuke gasped, sitting up. "You… you _bastard_."

The sound of a bare palm hitting the Nara's skin echoed in Sasuke's head as he frantically hit buttons on his phone. The soft whine Shikamaru made when Naruto bent to speak in the Nara's ear sent shockwaves of rage down Sasuke's spine as the call went through. The damnable man's smile when Neji lovingly praised Shika flickered behind Sasuke's tightly-shut eyelids as the ringing continued: three… four…

"Mm'llo?" said a muffled, sleepy, confused voice.

"Listen, asshole, this is all your fault, so wake the hell up," Sasuke demanded.

"No," Shikamaru said and hung up.

Sasuke cried out in inarticulate rage, vibrating with it before he got his wits together. "Oh no you _didn't_ ," Sasuke cried and redialed.

"What?" Shikamaru said when he answered a second time.

"You hung up on me!"

"Who the fuck _is_ this?"

"It's Sasuke, you dipshit."

"Sasuke?" 

The Nara had the audacity to sound like the two men had never been properly introduced. "Yes. Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto's boyfriend? You may remember me," Sasuke said in a honeyed voice. "We've only known each other since we were kissing boys on the playground."

"How the hell did you get this number?"

"The fuck does that matter?" Sasuke heard movement and murmuring in the background. He rolled his eyes. "Tell pretty boy to give you an extra foot of leash right now. I need to talk."

"To me?"

Sasuke threw up one arm. "No. To the _other_ Nara Shikamaru I'm calling at two in the goddamned morning. Get your brain out of Neji's ass and online Nara."

"You know," Shikamaru said. "As fun as this is, I think I'm going to have to--"

"Don't you _dare_." Sasuke pressed his lips next to the tiny speaker. "You started this. You have to help me finish it."

"I don't have to do a damned..." Shikamaru stopped his idiotic denials and paused. "Wait… is this about… Did you tell Naruto what you really--"

Oh, finally the idiot found a dollop of sense. "Not yet." Sasuke sat up straighter and tugged at the top sheet.

"Okay," Shikamaru dragged out the vowels in a lazy drawl. "So if you've not done that, then what the hell is your--"

"You!" Sasuke stood up on the mattress, trying to control the urge to screech at the overgrown redneck dimwit who was both the problem and the solution. "You're my goddamned problem. You drop these landmines about changing things up with Naruto like you're some kind of bloody relationship whisperer and just expect me to--"

"Sasuke. This is Neji." The Hyuuga didn't seem particularly pleased about that fact, and Sasuke went silent in muted shock. He fucking _hated_ that dick's voice. It just… did things to him that Sasuke didn't want to think about or admit.

"While I respect your right to have a shit fit, you will not do it at such a time as it disturbs my rest, nor will you ever -- ever -- call my home or my lover in the middle of the night and yell at him because you're too infantile to ask for something nicely at a sane hour."

Sasuke spluttered, but there were too many angry retorts jockeying for first place out of the gate, and Neji got the next word in edgewise. "Do _not_ say something to make me angrier than I already am, boy," Neji growled, and Sasuke stood rigid in the dark on the feather mattress and shook all over.

"Good." Neji sighed. "Shikamaru will meet you at the coffee shop in Fashion Square tomorrow at eleven thirty. You will be polite. You will have some idea of what you need to discuss with my Shika. You will _not_ be late. And you will _not_ be a prick because it would _greatly_ aggravate me to explain to Naruto why I've changed my mind about supporting his pet Congressman come election next, or _why_ your name is blacklisted in every hot spot in town, or _why_ I've revoked your pass into Bliss and Break for the next fucking _year_." Neji paused for effect, all carefully contained fury gone from his purring voice when he deigned to communicate again. "Now then. Do we understand one another… _boy?"_

It was one of those moments that Sasuke dearly hated: The Royal Fuck Up Part Six Million and Four. It was impressive, really: perfect scores on private school's entrance exams and every standardized test possible. Acceptance to multiple Ivy League schools both domestic and abroad. Aptitude off the charts for everything from writing to business to marital arts -- and awards in all of the above to support the ability -- and yet through some unfortunate accident of fate Sasuke just couldn't get a handle on even a limited emotional scale or figure out how to interact with humanity without hurting somebody. 

Sasuke's breathing hitched, he heard an exasperated noise on the line, and he felt roughly two inches tall and buried under a mountain range of self-loathing.

"Sasuke?" Neji asked again, moderately gentler but still full of chilly iron. "Answer me."

"Yes," Sasuke muttered, quickly anticipated Neji's next complaint and rushed to continue: "Yes, _Sir_. I'm…" God, but he just couldn't make himself say it.

"Very well, then," Neji droned. "Good night, Uchiha."

The call ended, Sasuke fell into a heap of bedclothes and silk pajamas, and after thirty minutes of drowning in an emotional tsunami, Sasuke slurred a nasty curse at sleep, got up, and headed toward the gym and espresso machine.

~*~

Café Sweet was always busy. The baked goods were made fresh every morning, the coffee came in more varieties than could fill two chalked boards behind the front counter, and the rainbow-colored tables and chairs were always occupied by families, businessmen, college kids, and the occasional homeless person. The owner, Kusajishi Yachiru, was a tiny woman whose hair changed color every time Sasuke saw her. Currently it was magenta, and her giggle filled the entire shop as she spoke to a regular ordering a lemon bar and a mocha.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and tried to focus on launching birds at piles of brick and wood. The game was a favorite, easy in its distraction, and he kept one eye on the front door and one on the phone's screen. He sat slumped at a table near the back with a clear view of the rest of the café, a massive mug of today's blend steaming in front of him. Sasuke hurt all over from lack of sleep and over-zealous workout, and his irritation level was an estimated twelve on a scale of one to five. Neji's warnings, however, still rang in his ears, and Sasuke's foot jiggled an erratic rhythm in a show of impatience as the clock nearby ticked to announce 11:35.

The chimes jangled, and Yachiru's piercing, " _Uncle_!" made Sasuke look up and watch a massive man in a white shirt, snug jeans, and dreadlocks hold the door for Shikamaru. The Nara ducked under the impressively muscled arm and nodded in thanks. The Nara weaved toward Sasuke's table, "Uncle" threw a lingering glance at Shika's ass, and then bent to pick up his babbling niece for a hug.

"Freaks," Sasuke muttered, dismissing the reunion and focusing on Shikamaru yanking out a chair and sitting down across from Sasuke. 

"You're one to talk," Shikamaru said, smirking.

"And that makes us kinky twins separated at birth," Sasuke cooed through a fake smile.

"Watch it. That was almost endearing."

"And you're almost on time."

Shikamaru snorted, perusing a menu. "I'm closer than usual at Neji's insistence."

Sasuke set his phone to vibrate and tucked it out of sight. Of course the Nara was here as promised because of Neji. Living and happier for it because of all the things the Nara did in Neji's name, in Neji's service, because Neji wanted it. Sasuke's thumb nail dug a rivet into the table's polyurethane finish, and he tried desperately not to compare himself and what he didn't do for Naruto with the asshole across from him smiling up at the waitress.

"Regular coffee. Black."

"Sure!" said Taffy. All the staff were apparently renamed after various types of candy. Either that or it was the largest collection of God My Parents Hated Me Upon Conception that Sasuke'd ever seen. "Our lemon bars are to die for and two for six?"

"Sold," Shikamaru said.

"I'll bring them right over." 

Taffy bounced away, Shikamaru shrugged out of his army surplus jacket, folded his hands in his lap, and cocked a brow at Sasuke.

"What?" Sasuke asked, stalling to give the nerves that made him nearly nauseous a chance to calm down.

"I don't know. You tell me."

"Shikamaru: ever the small talk champion." Sasuke almost reached for the piece of paper in his pocket with his notes for impending torturous conversation, but stopped himself from being a jackass at the last second.

"Sasuke: Duke of Deflection at the mercy of my prince of the realm."

Jerking at the jabbing reminder, Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned against the table, eyes flicking up in annoyance as the waitress dropped of coffee and pastries that made Sasuke's guts rumble in complaint at the mere smell. "Are you seriously going to eat that?" 

"Yes," Shikamaru replied, forking up a bite. "Are you seriously going to waste my time while I do it?"

"Fine," Sasuke muttered. "So, thanks to that lovely conversation we had the other day--"

"Sasuke," Shikamaru droned, eyes level. "Don't bother me with the back story."

 _Insolent brat._ "Look, you're the one--"

"We talked about what was already on your mind," Shikamaru interrupted. "You've been trying to figure out a way to tell Naruto that you're tired of fighting him for every inch and want to change. You can't get there from where you are. And you called me for advice because you think I'm qualified to give it and you're even contemplating listening. So why don't we cut to the chase: you tell me what you want to know, I tell you, and I can get out of here in less than the three hours it would take you to beat around the bush." He cut another bite of lemon bar, and Sasuke resisted the temptation to throw coffee in the man's face. 

The Nara was aggravatingly and insultingly right, of course, and once Sasuke stopped imagining creative tortures to apply to Shika's nuts, he sighed and steadied himself. "So help me God, if you ever breathe a word of this to _anyone_ …" 

Shikamaru just stared at Sasuke, jaw working like a cow chewing cud with something like pity swirling in his brown eyes. Sasuke flicked a crumb off the tabletop and studied his nails. "It's come to my attention that you may, actually, know how to do what you do with the Hyuuga in a more…" Sasuke rolled words around on his tongue, and they all tasted like regurgitated vodka. "Formal. Capacity than I do, and I want to know how you… manage. That."

"You want me to tell you how to be a better submissive to Naruto." Shikamaru didn't make it a question, and Sasuke couldn't read the tone. His eyes snapped to meet the Nara's, and Sasuke tensed, silent as Shikamaru sipped coffee.

"All right," Shika said, putting a fist under his chin. "First thing's first: it's not all about Scene. Some of it's just being a good partner."

"Your faith in me is overwhelming," Sasuke drawled.

Shikamaru shoved aside the plate and ran a hand through his hair. "Sasuke, this is going to be hard enough on you and awkward enough for me without your goddamned snide remarks. Could you _try_ to keep a handle on the self-defense mechanisms for ten minutes?"

Unsure of what to refute first, Sasuke scowled and stared at his shoes. He tugged at a fold of denim at his knee, wondered why he felt so close to breaking down into more fucking tears, and decided that would be a far worse hell than keeping his mouth shut. 

"Thanks," Shikamaru said, entirely too nicely. "And for the record, I meant what I said when I told you to fess up to Naruto and stop fighting what you want. I think you can do it, I think Naruto will love it, and I think that means that I do, actually, have faith in your sorry ass."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and ignored the spark of hope in his guts. Probably just indigestion.

"Anyway," the Nara continued. "Being a good partner means pulling your weight. Doing things that better you so that you better each other, and supporting Naruto when he does the same thing."

Sasuke nodded, something relaxing within him as his plan to train and to find hobbies and maybe even occupation solidified in his brain. 

"Good," Shika said. "You love the guy the way he needs and wants to be loved, and hell, only you know how the fuck to do that. I won't even touch that stuff as it, even more than the rest of this, isn't my business. But I will say that anticipating needs is important -- support, comfort, whatever. And you've got to walk this line between lover and sub. Be a good partner, but remind Naruto once in a while that you like him in control."

"How the hell do I do that?" Sasuke blurted, horrified at the possibilities of what he might have to do and the humiliation therein.

"Probably not the way you're thinking," Shikamaru said. "I do it by dropping the occasional 'Sir' in his ear. Reminding him of the last time we had fun, and he was calling all the shots. It's little stuff, Sasuke, not genuflecting every time the guy walks into the room."

It was sort of creepy how Shikamaru could damn near read minds. Sasuke shifted in his chair, hugging his chest. "Right. Whatever. Go on."

"Yeah," Shika said on a sigh. "Look, it's important to find the balance because you want Naruto to know you love _all_ of him, not just the part that ties you up. But I know the guy; he gets off on somebody like you coming to him for what you need. Doesn't hurt to feed that once in a while. Doms need reassurance and the ability to give consent, too." Shikamaru paused, odd smile turning his lips. "Sometimes more than subs, if you ask me."

Sasuke didn't voice the obvious cutting retort because he couldn't stop thinking of Naruto's face when Sasuke held Naruto after they were done playing. Even after all these years, the old flash of nerves and guilt and worry still glowed in blue eyes, and Sasuke--  
_  
"Thank you." A kiss to Naruto's nose that makes him smile._

 _"No problem. Thank you," Naruto whispers, hand stroking Sasuke's back. "Love you. And love you like this…"_  
  
\--sometimes tried to make the idiot relax. Let him know it was _still_ okay; that it was always… okay.

"In this case," Shikamaru said. "It's important because you're changing the ballgame. You're both going to need reassurance, and that's part of the respect you give each other for the extra layer of Scene on top of your relationship. So, it's key that you wait until you're both rested and as unstressed as possible to have the conversation about what you want."

Sasuke dropped Shikamaru's gaze and squirmed in his chair, and the Nara chuckled. 

"Look, I know it'll be hard to wait, but the last thing you want to do is hit up Naruto with the news that you want to restructure how you play and tell him what scene you want when the guy's jetlagged or…" Shikamaru paused, Sasuke's hand shook as he grabbed his mug, and he scowled. Coffee was cold.

"This isn't just about telling Naruto you're done fighting him for the control you want to give him, is it?" Shikamaru asked.

"The hell does that mean?" Sasuke snapped.

"You two don't talk about what you want." 

This was, apparently, some sort of earth-shattering concept for the Nara, and Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Of course we do."

"Really?" Shika asked, unconvinced. "So you two plan out scenes, make time arrangements, talk it all through?"

Sasuke played with the ends of his hair. "Sure."

"Sasuke."

"Well, what?" Sasuke countered. "Do _you_ do all that shit?"

"Yeah. We do."

"Every time?" It was Sasuke's turn to sound incredulous.

"Pretty much."

Sasuke's mouth worked, and when Taffy started toward the table he glared daggers at her until she retreated. "We _talk_ ," Sasuke insisted, feeling like the Nara was somehow deeming what he and Naruto did as _wrong_. "Naru tells me bullshit about what he wants to do next time we're at Break, and he knows what I like and don't. We're not some fucking pair of novices, you know."

"Uh huh," Shikamaru said, and the judgmental silence that followed made Sasuke's blood boil.

"Look, when Naruto wants to play, we play. And he fucking knows what he's doing."

"What about when you want to play?" Shika asked, calm and analytical.

"I have ways of letting him know," Sasuke said with a sniff.

"Like what?"

 _Like walking over and sitting on his lap when he's ignored me for days. Like crawling over with cuffs in my teeth and ignoring him when he says he's got shit to do. Like making sure he agrees to playing at Break when we go even if he doesn't want to. Like being an asshole and fighting when I know I should do anything but that. I fuck up. That's how I tell him what I want._ "None of your business." Sasuke didn't know if he wanted to sink through his chair, punch the knowing look off the Nara's face, or go home and wait to crawl into Naruto's arms and beg forgiveness for so many slights he couldn't name them all.

"In the beginning it was nearly impossible to tell Neji what I wanted," Shikamaru mused.

"This isn't the damned beginning, Nara."

"It could be."

Sasuke's insides twisted and quaked, and for an awful moment he thought he was going to throw up. The whole situation felt too damned _big_ : trying to do more for himself, and worrying about getting Naruto's approval for that; trying to be a better partner overall and worrying that he would somehow fuck that up like he did everything else; and, of course, changing his usual Whine Until He Gives In attitude for something more humane and even approaching patient meant facing the terror that Naruto might be crazy enough not to _want_ that kind of… And if he didn't… then…

Sasuke swallowed bile, dragged his chair closer to the table, bent forward, and snagged Shikamaru's wrist. "What if he likes me… being…" _Impossible. Stubborn. Stupid. A challenge._

"He'll like you happy more."

"You're so fucking _sure_ ," Sasuke said glaring at the second button on Shikamaru's shirt.

"I am."

Sasuke struggled against anger, pride, and fear and managed to win for once. "So if I'm… _nicer_ and try to _tell_ him… what I want… instead of…" _Demand it. Expect it. Wish he could read my mind._ "Imply. He'll… he won't…"

"No, Sasuke. He won't."

A comforting hand covered Sasuke's, and he managed a glance at a warm pair of eyes under a cocked brow. "Just don't expect miracles, Uchiha. I don't think you can ever be nice."

Barking an entirely unexpected laugh, Sasuke yanked away to collapse into his chair. "Asshole."

"Bitch."

Sasuke snorted, swiped a finger under his lower eyelid to re-smudge liner. He ignored that it came away wet. "Fine," he sighed. "Tell me what to do."

"Get more coffee." Shikamaru stretched and grinned. "We might be here a while."

With an unimpressed grunt, Sasuke waved at the hovering Taffy. "Thanks," he muttered, watching the blond approach.

"Didn't want to do the Preserve's paperwork today, anyway."

"Shocking," Sasuke quipped, feeling better than he had in days, and hoping like hell this was a turning point and not a disaster waiting to explode in his damned face.

~*~

"I see him, sir," Randall said.

"Hn," Sasuke replied as the driver got out of the limo to help Naruto with his bags. Uzumaki Corp. had its own private planes, but Naruto actually liked to fly commercial when possible. First class commercial, certainly, but still… Sasuke shuddered, and curled up into the seat. He heard Naruto laugh, and his heart started to pound; felt the car rock when the trunk closed, and he fidgeted with a seam in the upholstery. Usually he didn't meet Naruto at the airport after trips; there were just too many of them and Sasuke saw Naruto at home, after all.

But after another sleepless night through which Sasuke managed _not_ to drink, but only barely, and after pacing the ballroom until nearly noon when he knew Randall was going to go get Naruto from the airport, Sasuke said fuck it. He called their driver, arranged to be picked up, and now he felt unaccountably nervous. The windows were tinted, so Naruto wouldn't see Sasuke until he…

…opened up the car door, ducked inside, and gaped at Sasuke before grinning like a newborn sun god. "Hey!" Naruto cried, sliding across the bench to kiss Sasuke's lips with a gentle press of mouth that made Sasuke's cock stir and guts flutter as Randall shut them inside the rear compartment. "This is a nice surprise."

Apparently Sasuke _could_ be nice, and he mentally flipped Shikamaru off for the millionth time today. "Hi," Sasuke said, mouthing the word again in disgusted shock as Naruto turned to get situated in the seat and turn his phone back on. Days of agonizing and all Sasuke could manage was fucking, _"Hi?"_

"You have somewhere to be?" Naruto asked, still smiling and resting his head against the seat as he gazed at Sasuke.

"No," Sasuke said, hugging one knee. 

"Oh." Naruto's brow furrowed, and Sasuke could hear gears clanking through rust to work in Naruto's mind.

"I brought you something," Sasuke said, reaching for the small bar and opening the lid to the mini fridge.

"You did?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke ignored the raw shock in the tone. Honestly, he couldn't possibly be _that_ inattentive and insensitive a boyfriend. Surely.

"Yeah." Sasuke removed a SunDrop -- Naruto's favorite soda. They were hard to find, more popular in the South, and so full of caffeine and sugar they could fell a herd of buffalo. But Naruto loved the damned things. Sasuke unscrewed the metal cap and handed it to Naruto.

"Ho' shit," Naruto said, laughing and taking a huge gulp.

"Figured you'd be tired. Thirsty. You know." Sasuke shrugged, lips trying to twitch into a smile to spite himself.

Naruto's raspy, _Ahhh,_ of refreshment made Sasuke's eyebrows going up and down in self-satisfaction. "That's so good. Always get off planes feeling like I've been in the desert for ten years." He chuckled and glanced askance at Sasuke. "Ya going to tell me what you want now or later?"

Sasuke's heart stopped. "What?" 

"Oh come on. You show up at the airport, bring me my Drop, lookin' all dolled up with the tight jeans and the sapphire earrings that I bought you last anniversary, and…" Naruto trailed off, teasing expression morphing into one of confusion and concern. "I mean--"

"Whatever." Sasuke had no fucking clue why he felt like Naruto just stabbed him with a katana, but he curled in on himself and jerked his head around to stare out the window.

"Dammit." Naruto set the drink down in a holder and drew closer. "Baby, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Sasuke gritted, rubbing his arms. His flesh felt too tight, and he shut his eyes when a hand rubbed his back and another slid around to grip Sasuke's forearm. God but the simple touch was so incredible right now, and all Sasuke wanted to do was give in to it, but he stayed stock still and rigid.

"It's really sweet that you're here." Lips against Sasuke's hair, and his resolve began to crumble. "And I love that you brought me the drink." The backs of fingers pet the line of his throat, and Sasuke stifled a noise. "Tell me there's more?" 

"Yeah," Sasuke whispered, turning almost enough to look at Naruto, but not quite. "There's more."

"Awesome," Naruto murmured. "Now c'mere, Sas. I missed you."

On his own Sasuke would never have spun and reached for Naruto, head down and sigh escaping as Naruto pulled Sasuke against a solid chest. Left to his own devices, Sasuke would never have settled into the strong embrace, rubbed his face against the softness of Naruto's shirt, clutched at one sleeve. He wouldn't have shivered while Naruto kissed his forehead and temple, and he certainly wouldn't have relaxed for the first time in weeks as Naruto rubbed his back.

But it was a commanded request from Sasuke's lover, boyfriend… Master, and Sasuke had to obey. _Wanted_ to. He struggled to draw the lines between what he felt obliged to do by the terms of long, unspoken agreement and what he desired to do so that he could cut himself a slice of contentment, found the tangled weave of need too hard to manage, and concentrated on Naruto's heartbeat, instead. "I missed you, too," he said.

"Got ya, now, baby," Naruto answered. "I'm home."

~*~

By the time Naruto slid into bed and over to Sasuke to wrap and press their nude bodies together, Sasuke was a ball of exhausted, unacknowledged angst. 

As it turned out, being attentive and loving was damned hard work. But Sasuke did exactly as he wanted and should do for Naruto: helped his lover unpack, brought Naruto dinner in the home office, didn't say a word about anything that bothered Sasuke or made him want to break crockery. He didn't even conjure a decent retort when Naruto teased him about the behavior--

_"Who are you and what the hell did you do with my boyfriend, Sasuke?"_

\--tempting though it was. Sasuke silently conceded in the dark recesses of his mind that that Nara had several very rational points that turned out to be true: doing better by Naruto did make Sasuke feel better about himself. He didn't know if he could sustain it, didn't know if Naruto even really liked it, and had no clue how to bring up the other changes he wanted to make. But Naruto's genuine, _Thank you, baby,_ and the quick kisses in between tasks made Sasuke warm all over; almost peaceful in the middle of his personal hurricane of disharmony.

"So," Naruto said, kissing Sasuke's shoulder. "You gonna tell me about it?"

Sasuke clenched his teeth. Oh, he dearly _wanted_ to tell Naruto everything, and then ask for Naruto to please, for the love of God, tell Sasuke it was all going to be okay. Because Naruto was the only person alive whom Sasuke could ask for that kind of comfort, take it, and believe it. But Sasuke didn't know if that would put extra strain on Naruto, so he stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I had to work when we got home," Naruto said. "I just had to--"

"It's fine," Sasuke said, and for once he meant it. 

"I know, I know," Naruto continued, forehead against Sasuke's neck. "It's been days since I saw you, and believe me, I'd rather of spent the time with you, but--"

"Naruto. It's _fine_." Sasuke made an exasperated noise and rolled onto his back. "Doubt" and "Guilt" flashed in neon across Naruto's features, and Sasuke pet a stubbled jaw line. "I can… look after myself, you know." And amazingly, the words didn't come out as petulant or sarcastic: they were soft and merely true. Sasuke didn't know who was more shocked: himself or Naruto.

"Yeah," Naruto said. "Sure. You can. But…" He frowned. "Usually you don't want to after I've been gone is all…"

"You have work to do--"

"Which you hate," Naruto pointed out. Helpfully.

Sasuke blew a harsh breath. "Not… really. I'm… trying to be…" _Patient. Kind. Understanding. A pussy. But it's a step up from selfish asshole. I think._ "Nice."

Naruto cackled, Sasuke punched him, and squirmed to get away. "Hey, hey," Naruto said, wrestling Sasuke back under him. "It's not like I don't appreciate it, baby, but… nice ain't really _you_."

"So I hear," Sasuke deadpanned.

"And I like _you_ ," Naruto said like Sasuke didn't interrupt him. "Horny, prissy, bitchy--" Naruto caught Sasuke's fist and pushed it to the bed, grinning before it faded into a soft smile. "Sweet, tender, brilliant, witty… or nice. However you want to be." Big blue eyes that looked dark in the light thrown by the bedside lamp studied Sasuke for a breathless age. "You know I love you, right?"

Sasuke chewed at his lip ring until Naruto thumbed it out from beneath the onslaught of Sasuke's teeth. "But you wouldn't mind it if I was a little less…" 

"Less what?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know…"

"Stubborn? Difficult? A pain in my ass?" 

Sasuke gulped and couldn't make his vocal chords rise to the challenge of speech. This was it: the tipping point where hell could rise, heaven could fall, and Sasuke would be stuck in limbo for a screaming eternity. He lay there, waiting, and didn't know his eyes were closed, so the tender kiss startled him.

"I'm not easy, either, Sas," Naruto whispered. "I know I work too much. I know I'm moody. I've got a temper, and what's our record now for tryin' to out-stubborn the other?"

"Four weeks. You broke first."

Naruto chuckled, and it was the low, throaty one that made Sasuke's hair stand on end and hope for groaning good things to come. "Yeah. I know I did. Just like I know we're made for each other. Our kinds of crazy fit together." Naruto covered Sasuke's body with his. "In all kinds of ways."

"Hn," Sasuke intoned. Vaguely, he remembered Shikamaru saying something about not negotiating or talking Scene shit when having sex. Or was that making out? Touching at all? Sasuke couldn't remember, and who cared? Naruto loved him. Was here, and kissing his neck, and _loved_ him.

"When you… get over the jetlag…" Sasuke broke to moan as Naruto's teeth bit his ear. "Got something I want to discuss."

"Knew it," Naruto murmured, hands sliding lower. "Something you want, baby?"

"Ass," Sasuke hissed, shoving at Naruto's shoulder while one traitorous leg wrapped around Naruto's waist. "It's not like that. Wasn't even supposed to mention it -- _ah, God, yeah, stroke me_ \-- yet…"

"Says who?" Naruto muttered, fist teasing Sasuke's cock awake.

"N-nobody…" And the stammer was totally forgivable as lips sucked at the bar through Sasuke's nipple, and the fist tightened to twist over Sasuke's dampening head.

"What you want to talk to me about, then?" 

"Just… a… scene… that…" Sasuke had to stop talking because Naruto's tongue filled his mouth, danced with his, and Naruto switched his grip to stroke them both together.

"Scene?" Naruto rasped, licking at Sasuke's lower lip. "Somebody told you not to talk to me about a scene you want?"

Stroke, pull, kiss, taste, and Sasuke forgot why anything was ever difficult to talk about with this man. It'd been days and days and forever too long, and being this kind of close to Naruto made everything else vanish; there was nothing but heat, need, pleasure, and sometimes, if Sasuke was truly lucky or persuasive or conniving, there were rope burns, pain, and the sweetest kinds of torture. "He said I should wait…" Sasuke breathlessly husked.

"Who did?"

"Shikamaru."

Naruto froze, levered himself over Sasuke, and Sasuke blinked at the clear and focused eyes that met his own. "You talked. To Nara. About something you _want_?"

Humiliation flood gates opened, and Sasuke whined an incoherent complaint. He struggled against a chuckling Naruto for three seconds until he got the chance to bite the bastard when Naruto tried to kiss him. Naruto hissed, bit back, harder and even more unforgiving, and Sasuke moaned through the sick yellow haze of discovery.

"Good boy," Naruto praised in _that_ voice when Sasuke stopped fighting. "Now answer me."

Sasuke was all too familiar with the expression of unbendable will that contorted Naruto's features into something feral, frightening… fucking beautiful. "Yeah. I did." Sasuke debated on the title for long enough that it came out as a question. "Master?"

"Mm," Naruto grunted, kissing Sasuke again. "I like that you went to him." He rolled against Sasuke, made them both gasp.

"You do?"

"Yeah, baby, I do. But we can talk about it later. For now…" Naruto rebalanced his weight, reached between them, and Sasuke's back arch when he felt a single finger start to circle-press-massage around his asshole. The noise Sasuke made was one only Naruto could wring from him.

"Tell me what you want."

Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto; ineffectively tried to pull the man closer. "To… _nnngh_ … to be good for you. Naruto. Master." And the words were close enough to bare bones honesty that Sasuke's head tossed to the side as though he could sling away reality.

"You're perfect for me, Sasuke," Naruto murmured. The voice in Sasuke's ears, Naruto's scent in his nostrils, taste on his tongue: all too perfect for someone like Sasuke. 

"Always were," Naruto said, lips burning away doubts one feather brush at a time. "Always will be."

Sasuke's arms flew around Naruto's neck, and he held on, feeling ten kinds of undone and hard and desperate and relieved. "Tell me again?" he whispered.

"Love you." Naruto's fingertip pressed with more pressure, though he didn't push inside. "Now tell me what else you wanted."

"Okay…" Sasuke agreed, and it was so easy all of a sudden. Was it always like this when Naruto got him to this point? To that place where Sasuke didn't care what he had to do so long as Naruto … kept him? Sasuke didn't know if it was the fear culminating over the last few months and crashing over the last couple of days that now vanished beneath Naruto's willpower or if it was just the natural course of events that would frequently happen if Sasuke fought less and spoke up more. 

And it didn't matter. Because Sasuke told Naruto in whispers tinged with moans and pleas for more exactly what he wanted, and Naruto even let Sasuke get almost through the explanation before mouths crushed words to single syllables of shared need and bodies transformed chosen pieces of fantasy into reality.

~*~

Sasuke stood at the closed bedroom door and willed himself to turn the knob and go inside. For the third time, his hand rose, almost reached the goal, and then retreated.

"Shit," Sasuke muttered, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and attempting to silence the long stream of self-deprecation running ruts in his mind. He _knew_ what lay beyond the door: the room he shared with Naruto, the makings of a scene Sasuke confessed he wanted, and, of course, Master. Nothing unexpected, nothing that could hurt him, nothing even remotely worthy of this unfettered apprehension making his palms sweat, his breath quicken, and his heart race.

Such a reaction was just asinine, really.

Granted, this was the first time they'd planned out this much Scene in a very long while. If ever. And that organization happened three days ago, which was also unusual as Sasuke had to worship at the altar of delayed gratification. Sasuke snorted, reached for the handle again, and started shaking all over. He snatched his fingers away and rubbed at his arms. Jesus, this was never going to work. Sasuke was going to have to start life anew in this blasted hallway because he couldn't grow the balls to _go through a doorway._ He knew he was late for their rendezvous, and cords of anxiety heated to red wires in his guts; twisted and tried to make his feet work to carry him forward, but even though a whimper that he would never admit to making spilled from his lips, he stayed frozen in a coward's hell.

This was ridiculous. Even in the beginning it was never this… _hard_. Though again, Sasuke conceded, they never gave each other much time to think or anticipate back in those days. Scene sprang up between them like a happy, insane accident. Sasuke wasn't even sure how it started, really; Naruto spanking him during sex, maybe, or asking to tie Sasuke to something while they fucked. He remembered the first time Naruto bound his hands behind his back and used Sasuke's mouth until Naruto came with a hoarse scream. Afterward Sasuke -- a teenager with the self-control of a gnat -- orgasmed with one stroke to his cock. And he nearly blacked out.

Sasuke stretched his neck side to side and adjusted himself through the thin, loose, cotton pants. The only other thing he wore was a simple black collar, and he stroked it as he tried to calm down, put himself together, and get _on_ with it. Yes, it usually wasn't this difficult, yes, he had all kinds of inklings why this was causing him problems, and no, he didn't want to think about it because if he did, he really would grow roots to the spot.

Instead, he closed his eyes and recalled Naruto's panting face after that first bound blow job; heard the blond say, _Oh hell they had to try that again._ Sasuke fingered the collar and leaned against the wall as he recalled the first hit of a flogger, a crop, a wooden cooking spoon. A vision of Naruto: amazed and proud and riding the high. A memory of himself: breaking down and reveling in how good it was to be held. To just _feel_ something that wasn't complicated or forbidden or weak. To be happy because Naruto was and hoping that was all Sasuke ever needed to feel again.

And before Sasuke could conjure everything that came after that moment -- all the fights, Itachi's betrayal, the stupid crash courses in kink with the fucking Hyuuga and damned Inuzuka, Jiraiya's death, the long discussions about Break and Naruto's involvement in it, and all the change and turmoil and fuck ups -- Sasuke clutched the door's handle, turned it, stepped into the Master's Suite, and froze.

Candles. Dozens and dozens of tea lights and pillar candles lit the room and filled the air with a faint, sweet scent. They covered the dressers, the tables, and every available surface, and Sasuke's breath caught in his throat. Lighting wasn't covered in the negotiations at all, and Sasuke covered his mouth with his hand to hide a pleased smirk at his sentimental fool of a Master.

"Decided to join me?" Naruto drawled, and Sasuke's shoulders crept toward his ears as he closed the door. He glanced around until he spotted a lounging figure on a sofa in the seating area near a bank of windows. Naruto was shirtless, his lower half clad in shiny, dark pants -- dear God, let them be the leather ones that smelled like a tannery -- and he beckoned to Sasuke without taking his arm off the back of the couch. "C'mere, already."

"I'm sorry, Master," Sasuke said, gaze on the ground as he walked. Naruto grunted, genuinely displeased, and Sasuke resisted the temptation to wince. Great. This might be a new record: screwing something up when he asked for this, knew exactly what was expected, and the scene had yet to start. 

An image of the Nara's sleepy-eyed face floated up in Sasuke's mind, and when his toes touched the rug under the couch and chairs, Sasuke gracefully fell to his hands and knees. It took him a second to get over the abject hatred of such an obvious show of remorse and subservience, but he managed to crawl the rest of the way, stopping in front of Naruto's knees. Sasuke's master was barefoot and most definitely wearing Sasuke's favorite pants.

"Nice," Naruto said, and Sasuke sat back on his heels in two kinds of relief. "What kept you?"

"I got tied up with something on the--" Sasuke began, but stopped when Naruto slowly leaned forward to rest forearms on his thighs. The weight of inspection pressed on Sasuke's shoulders, and the lie died in Sasuke's throat.

"Try again," Naruto ordered.

"I had trouble with the door, Master," Sasuke said.

"Oh?"

Christ, Naruto really wasn't going to cut him any slack. Damn it. Sasuke ground his teeth, breathed deeply through his nose, and put his arms behind his back to stop himself from fidgeting. "It was hard to open, Master. Hard to walk… through it."

Sasuke wanted a stiff drink to ease the flush creeping up his cheeks and the embittered embarrassment rolling in his stomach. But just before the recrimination reached a crescendo, a palm cupped his cheek. Sasuke leaned into it like a lifeline. An old habit: wanting and sometimes even grasping at Naruto's offerings of peace.

"And is it as bad as you thought on this side?" Naruto asked.

"No, Master," Sasuke answered, turning to kiss Naruto's hand. He hesitated, fought down pride, and finally murmured, "The candles are nice, Master. Thank you."

"You're pretty in firelight, boy." Naruto's touch retreated. "Now strip."

Sasuke knew better than to stand up to take off his pants -- if Naruto sat, then Sasuke did his best to stay physically lower than Master unless bound and unable to control it -- so he dutifully rolled onto his backside and shimmied out of clothing before tossing it over the arm of a chair and getting back onto his knees.

"Very nice," Naruto said, sitting upright and spreading his legs. "Come closer."

Eager but hoping it didn't show too much, Sasuke did his best sensuous slide and repositioned himself between Naruto's thighs. He kept his eyes down, his hands behind his back, and let go of a shuddering breath as firm, warm touches smoothed over hair, neck, shoulders, arms, back, and sides. Naruto urged Sasuke to lean against Naruto's chest, and Sasuke bit his tongue on sounds of pleasure as fingers dug into the flesh of his ass; squeezed. 

"I'm never going to get tired of touchin' you," Naruto murmured, and Sasuke had to work in earnest to stifle a whimper. He blinked and shook his head to clear it, field of vision already narrowing to couch, Naruto, and the drapes covering the windows. A fist gripped Sasuke's hair and slowly twisted to increase the pressure until Sasuke grunted. Naruto yanked Sasuke backward, and panic flash-fired anew: angry? Impatient? Did he mess up and not even fucking _know_ it? 

Sasuke's scrabbled to clutch at Naruto's shin, pawing at silky leather, and it became a fight to keep his eyes off Naruto's, whose face loomed so near they could share the same breath.

"Sasuke." 

The single word spoken with authority and unbridled affection turned Sasuke's knees to water. He didn't answer, didn't move, and forgot to breathe.  
__  
Fighting. Fuck… I'm fighting…and I don't know how to stop. I really don't. I'm so fucked. So very screwed in the head. I wanted this. Want… want… and shit, I'm going to lose before I even get a chance to play, and--  
  
"Look at me."

A fast gasp escaped before Sasuke trapped air in his chest. He locked gazes with Naruto's, licked his dry lips as Naruto smiled -- brilliant even in the darkness.

"There's my good boy," Naruto said, and sighed, though the hand in Sasuke's hair kept its pressure. "I love you, Sasuke."

The words -- the ones Sasuke always needed to hear, and spoken now even when he was late, had almost lied, stopped himself from feeling what Naruto--

A hand loosely closing over Sasuke's throat made all thought evaporate. "And I want you to do somethin' for me," Naruto said.

"Of course, Master," Sasuke whispered on autopilot.

"Want you to say somethin' after me, all right? Repeat it."

"Yes, Master," Sasuke said, the words true in intent but lost in clarity because Naruto's thumb stroked over his pulse, and God but it felt--

"I, Sasuke," Naruto said, and Sasuke scrambled brain cells to figure out he needed to crow the words back to Naruto, which he did.

Naruto smiled and nodded. "Want to be here to participate in the scene that will follow."

"…want…" Sasuke tried not to stall too long on such a weighted cluster of letters. "To be here to participate in the scene that will follow."

Another nod, a deep flicker in Naruto's eyes lit by flames -- hunger, possession, need -- and his lips hovered over Sasuke's; made Sasuke ache to relearn their texture. "And I willingly submit to my master's control."

Sasuke swallowed, his fingers tightened on Naruto's leg, and when he waited for a heartbeat too long, Naruto pulled back his head to further expose Sasuke's throat. Hot breath bathed the thin skin under Sasuke's chin, his cock jumped, and finally Sasuke rasped a tiny cry, chest heaving. "And I willingly submit to Master's control," he repeated in a hushed rush. 

"Good boy," Naruto praised, and Sasuke struggled not to squirm while silken lips pressed faint kisses along his jaw, behind his ear, and scorched a painfully slow line down his throat. His neck screamed at the angle, his scalp tingle-burned with the taut pressure, and he shivered when the kisses didn't grow urgent or harder. Sensations crept up and down tight tendons -- press, hint of lick, barest suckle -- and Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek when the bar through his nipple got trapped between an unforgiving thumb and forefinger. 

A pull, a flick, a tease, and a gradually increasing pinch to pure pain, and arousal shot down Sasuke's spine and bowed it. " _Nnn_ \--oh…" 

"Very sweet, boy," Naruto said to the hollow between Sasuke's collar bones. "I love how you like the little things." He released Sasuke, inspiring a mad scramble to stay upright. "Get on the couch and lie down, head in my lap."

Dizzy and wondering at the reaction, Sasuke fumbled his way onto the sofa. Distantly, the analytical part of his brain not completely caught up in the awkward dance of trying to lay flat with a bobbing erection and command in mind marveled at how the friction of fabric awakened his skin; how he breathed in deep gulps as he stared at Master's fly; how he quietly groaned as hands guided him down, turned his head to face Naruto, and Sasuke slammed into a sensory wall. The smell of well-worn leather and the muted musk of Master's groin, the slight give in the heavy muscles of Master's legs, the tempting line of Master's cock which Sasuke did _not_ mouth, did _not_ tongue, though suddenly the entire world was comprised of only those desires.

"Arms around me, boy," Naruto ordered, and Sasuke moved to cling to Master. A hand kept his head pressed firmly against Naruto, made breathing an effort, and another roamed up and down Sasuke's bare back. "God, you're so fuckin' beautiful."

Sasuke whined, lips parting to speak, and _fuck all_ but he wanted to tease and taste Master, but there'd been no command to do so, no permission given, and he wanted to behave more than he wanted to get Master from half to fully hard. The weights and measures of impulse versus rule made the room whirl.

"Gonna warm you up a little, boy," Naruto husked, and chuckled when Sasuke's arms tightened into a desperate grip. "And I know what you wanna do."

"Please…" Sasuke said, hoping the plea translated if the word itself did not. 

"Ya wanna blow me through leather, boy?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke almost answered before nails scraping down his back to the crack of his ass made him tense-dance-whine, instead.

"Well?" A fierce squeeze to one globe of Sasuke's ass, and Sasuke nodded as a single consonant of solicitude spilled against Master's thigh.

"Yes, Master."

"Think you earned that?" 

"No, Master," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "I'm sor-- _nnnah!_ " Master's finger traced, probed, and dove into the split of Sasuke's ass; pressed a line over flexing hole and brushed tightening balls.

"I disagree, boy," Naruto commented, and Sasuke's heart skipped rhythm as he tried to sort out if Master's differing opinion was a good thing or a bad thing, here.

"Hard as fuck to come in here knowing you have to be my perfect boy," Naruto murmured, and Sasuke tried to listen though the face-full of Master's crotch and the finger and hand so close to where and what he wanted made it nigh on impossible. 

"And you crawled so damned nice, and I know it's rough for you on your knees."

_Yes, so hard, so close, so near, and I want and can't and you're the only--_

"Shh," Naruto soothed, and Sasuke slammed his traitorous mouth shut. "I know, little one, I know." The affection and the massaging fingertip murdered resistance and slaughtered shame.

"With me?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, Master," Sasuke answered.

"Good. Because after the first swat, boy, you get to go at me. Much as you want while I make your skin glow."

"Oh God…" Sasuke got granted enough clarity to be amazed at how undone he already felt, and hell, this part wasn't even the scene's entrée. This was appetizer, and Sasuke was starving. 

"Thank you, Master," Sasuke managed when Naruto's touch retreated but Master didn't say anything. And he repeated his gratitude a handful of seconds later when still nothing happened, and Sasuke could only stare at the fireworks of red flickering on the backs of closed eyelids. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, and finally Sasuke whimpered, Master laughed -- low, throaty, cruel -- and a palm collided with Sasuke's ass.

" _Mmmyes_ …" Sasuke hissed in relief, diving for Master's dick trapped under slick fabric soon made slicker by Sasuke's saliva. He buried himself in the task, jumping as a set of spanks woke up every nerve ending from the waist down, and Sasuke groaned as Master sighed above him.

"Good boy. Just like that."

Sasuke ducked to nuzzle and lap at covered balls, dying to taste the skin and settling for questing harder to apply pressure to familiar shapes. Master's legs went wider, gave Sasuke more room to maneuver, and Naruto's nearly inaudible tone of pleasure resound-rebounded in Sasuke's mind. He cried out in earnest for the first time as Master did a fast, solid, repetitious one-two pattern: left cheek, right cheek, pause repeat, and Sasuke covered Master's rigid shaft with his mouth to muffle himself. He sucked at the wide head with a slurp that echoed in his ears, his face wet with his own fluids, and he arched when Master rolled and kneaded heated skin before swatting again… and again… and…

"Oh, God… Master… _please_..." Sasuke begged, though he had no idea for what, and a whine ripped through the air when Master suddenly stopped. A fist gripped his hair, tugged Sasuke away from the leather-clad prize, and he panted in disappointment, desire, and deferential haze.

"Such a sweet little cockslut," Naruto cooed, and Sasuke shivered from head to toe as the dirty endearment gave permission, cut through restraint with base truth and unlocked rooms of hidden desires. He moaned and didn't care that the tone was broken with pure want.

"That's it," Naruto murmured, rolling Sasuke; moving him and bending until their mouths nearly met. "So good for me, baby, when you just let go." 

The kiss was messy, urgent, and made of entwining tongues and rumbling moans. Master's arms braced Sasuke in a harsh hold, and Sasuke found the back of Master's neck and scraped skin in a grounding clench. Time slipped, Sasuke's body relaxed, backside burning, cock full, and lips swollen when Master finally broke their connection. Master pressed them flush; hugged Sasuke and stroked his back until Sasuke didn't care what or if anything came next. It felt so, so good to be…

_Wanted. His. Here. Loved. Held. Desired._

"Perfect, boy," Naruto said. "Ready for more?"

"Yes, Master," Sasuke answered immediately, a pang of lust igniting in loins and nuts and making him shudder.

"Good. Get up and go to the bed. Stand next to it and wait for me."

"Yes, Master," Sasuke intoned, scrambling out of the embrace to stand. Hands steadied his waist, and Sasuke bit his lip. Moments ago crawling was at the bottom of Sasuke's desires list. Now all he could think about was the view it would give Master, the hope that it would inspire caught breath or more praise or another kiss. God, Sasuke would do anything for another taste of Master's tongue. 

Sasuke trembled, felt faint fingertips stroke his flank, and stared at the floor. "Master… may I… may I c-crawl? To the…"

"Knees, boy, _now_ ," Naruto barked, and Sasuke hit the rug with jarring force. Master stepped in front of Sasuke, gripped hair and shoulder, and shoved Sasuke against Master's thigh. Sasuke whined half in shock and half in gratitude, and again he waited while listening to Master breathe.

"Tell me why you want to crawl, boy," Naruto commanded, and Sasuke noted the threads of suspicious concern. They inched into Sasuke's heart like stubborn vines through cracks; seeking and sundering reluctance.

"To please you, Master," Sasuke whispered.

For a long moment, Master didn't speak, though Master pet Sasuke's neck and cheek, letting Sasuke know everything was all right. A shaky inhalation gave Sasuke a second's warning before Master bent to kiss Sasuke for a blissful moment. And when Master broke away, Sasuke smiled in delight as he realized he'd shocked the other man.

"I'd love to see that," Naruto said, standing straight. "Do it." And he let go to step away and allow Sasuke to fall forward.

"Yes, Master," Sasuke said, making his way across the room. He was immediately pleased with his decision as crawling was challenging enough; he didn't really want to think about fighting gravity and balance while vertical. 

And Master's quiet sound of appreciation sealed the deal on best choice of the night so far.

When Sasuke reached their bed, he rose using the footboard as leverage. A warm body pressed flush against his back, fingers slithered up his sides to find, caress, and pluck both nipples, and Sasuke ground back against Master while syllables of anticipation spilled from his lips.

"Like what you see?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke's knees trembled.

The covers were folded down at the base of the mattress, pillows piled at the top out of the way. Lying on the sheet were six things: three requested, two required, and one unexpected. The crop was Naruto's favorite -- well-loved and plain black, the business end was small and stung with a pleasing crack. The portable stocks were handmade by Tenzou, commissioned and bought back when Tenzou still made such things. Stained dark and polished to a smooth shine, the stocks were simple in construction: four holes, two for wrists, two for ankles. They closed on a hinge and locked into place with a simple clasp. The stocks sat low on any flat surface, which made them more comfortable to stay in for longer periods of time.

The third requested item made Sasuke's balls throb and saliva pool on his tongue. Often called a "humbler," the device came in two wooden pieces, and both curved to fit against the back of Sasuke's thighs. Once the lower half was in place, Master would put Sasuke's nuts in a groove cut in the middle. The top half closed and snapped into place, effectively trapping Sasuke's balls in a vice and preventing him from standing. Any movement at all tugged and stretched and _reminded_. Their humbler was also a Tenzou special, and the dimensions were Sasuke specific.

Lube and a massage pillow were the two required items, the second included so when Sasuke was stocked with his balls in a clamp he could rest face down on the pillow and still breathe. But the final thing…

"Blindfold?" Sasuke whispered, alarm and panic surging before fading under the tingling pleasure of Master's fingers over Sasuke's skin, Master's lips at his nape.

"Something to say, boy?" Naruto asked, though gently and pausing in his ministrations. Sasuke _hated_ blindfolds. Something about his sight being taken always made him feel undone way too fast. His knees buckled, Master held him, and mutely, Sasuke shook his head.

"Sas?" Naruto pressed.

"No, Master," Sasuke answered, and the room tipped, vertigo swaying Sasuke in a slow waltz. "Nothing to say."

"Mmm…" Naruto's delighted hum preceded a vicious twist to Sasuke's nipples and grind against Sasuke's ass that made him want to beg to be fucked, filled, taken. 

"On the bed, boy. Ankles in the stocks."

" _Oooh_..." Sasuke groaned, clambering to comply. "Yes… Master…" he whispered as he got to the middle of the bed, put his back to the device, feet into the half-holes, and fell forward. The hard press of wood made him groan, head lolling. Master followed, and Sasuke sighed when hands roamed over his ass and thighs.

"Give me your arms, baby," Naruto said, and the entire room did a sick-dip-roll as Sasuke got his chest to the bed and reached back. Master's sounds oozed praise, but Sasuke couldn't force himself to decipher real words as he felt wood on the tops of his wrists. A second later and the stocks swung closed, the clasp clicked, and Sasuke lay with his hands in the outer holes, ankles in the middle ones, ass in the air, cheek to the sheet, eyes squeezed shut. He flexed to feel the entrapment, how moving earned him nothing approaching freedom, and he sucked in a heaving breath when more wood brushed his legs.

" _Nnngh_ -fuck… Master, _oh_ …" Sasuke hissed, mouth not entirely connected to his brain as every ounce of his focus flew to the feel of Master's hands cupping his balls. Lifted, pulled, rested, placed, and Sasuke made fists as the humbler clacked shut. The fit was loose enough that there was no circulation danger, snug enough that Sasuke always felt it -- a constant reminding pressure on his sac -- but only shifting or flinching inspired discomfort or pain.

"Oh!" Sasuke yelped when lips brushed his trapped nuts and made him jerk. Master's husky chuckle rocked and rattled Sasuke's insides. He felt the stocks, the sharp slice of warning bloom in his groin, and the vulnerability hit him in continual waves. Again, a vague but calm voice of reason pointed out that Sasuke was sinking fast, sliding under, and it shouted at Sasuke when Master bodily moved him to rest on the massage pillow. The voice wanted him to pay attention, fight for cognisant thought, and Sasuke grumbled to himself as panic spiked. 

"Got you, boy," Naruto said, and cool satin covered Sasuke's eyes; made him whine while he tilted his head to help Master slip the band over Sasuke's hair. "You're mine, and I've got you." Fingers touched neck, pet the line of Sasuke's spine. "Safe, gorgeous, and perfect." A kiss to the corner of Sasuke's mouth before a firmer one caught his lower lip, and Sasuke choked on desperate, demanding, delight. 

"Tell me…?" Sasuke croaked, stunned that he would say such a thing _now_. Something about that wasn't right… wasn't something he should…

"Love you, Sasuke," Naruto said, kissing his shoulder. And then, reverberating and consuming: "Love you." Lips, tongue, hands, and Master was everywhere at once.

"Whose…" Sasuke rasped, writhing and calling out and shocking himself at the volume of his own voice.

"Mine," Naruto said with ten tons of possessive pride. "You're mine, boy." 

"Oh… _oh_ …" Sasuke couldn't do much more than moan and babble as Master repositioned on the bed, touch never leaving Sasuke's hyper-alive skin. Sasuke couldn't delineate events -- couldn't see, couldn't escape, couldn't do anything except submit to the freedom of Master's control -- and when he felt the press of Master's side, fingers span his ass, a thumb cover his entrance, and the tickle of leather draw a pattern on his thigh, Sasuke's mind filled with gray void. His cock twitched in incessant unanswered need, his lips went numb, and the first blow of the crop wrung a rasping wail from his lungs.

"Please, please, oh _God_ , Master, _please_!" At that moment, Sasuke didn't know if he wanted another strike or if he was just insane with the desire to stay suspended like this: flying through reversed gravity surrounded by Master.

"Count."

The order filled Sasuke with purpose, made him twist with effort and hiss through his teeth when his balls caught. " _Two_!" he barked as the crop bit at his skin, and he writhed while Master spent eons tracing the blossoming red mark. It was long enough that Sasuke coughed a sound of shock before biting, " _Three, four, five_!" as the lick-lash moved from ass down thigh. The hits were not kind. They weren't warm up. And the spot-sting sensations erupted and eclipsed all else. 

"Six, seven, _eight_!" The strikes stung in fiery blooms, some falling where they'd already tread. "N-nine -- _oooh, shit_ ," Sasuke rasped as the next rap tapped his testicles. Not a strike, and certainly not a hit; merely a loving graze followed by another -- " _Ten, Master_!" -- and the crop kept taunting Sasuke's balls and striking his thighs until Sasuke's count dwindled to a slurred whisper that vaguely represented a numeral. 

"Very good, boy." The praise burned like a star from Sasuke's center, a faint swipe of crop coupled with a circling thumb over eager hole, and Sasuke couldn't form sensible syllables. 

"You're so goddamned hot like this, boy," Naruto said, bed shifting again. "Trapped…" Breath over entrance. 

"Oh God, _oh fuck, oh please…"_

"Begging me…" A kiss, a bite, and someone cried out a horrific curse.

"Giving in…" A lick and sharp suck to the ring of muscle that wanted to be breached so badly that Sasuke though flames scorched his flesh; overheated, feverish, he was going to explode. 

" _Oh GOD!"_

Hands spread Sasuke, nails bit, and Master rimmed him with a wet slip of moving, undulating tongue. Teeth scraped, and Sasuke shook in open-mouthed silence until Master moved down and lapped at his nuts. 

_"Naru, please..."_

A heady moan reached Sasuke's ears, and pain shot up his arms: he struggled against the stocks with enough force to bruise, but fuck all in heaven and hell if he cared. Master sucked at one ball, and Sasuke spoke in a frantic, incoherent blur of warning. Current flew down his spine, lava pooled in his gut as Naruto licked back up to plunge into Sasuke, and imminent release was upon Sasuke so fast it made him choke, cough, gag on his own spit.

" _I'm… I'm gonna… I can't…_ "

The head of Sasuke's cock tingled, his balls were agonizingly tight in their confines, and he moaned Master's name in a steady sobbing whine, rocking into the thrusting tongue, longing for it to be fingers, toy, dick, anything. White noise roared in his ears, and everything froze in devastating, crack-crumbling reality as Naruto fisted Sasuke's weeping length and stroked from base to head in one, long, wet, slide.

Sasuke came.

The pleasure ripped Sasuke apart, swept him over an edge, and flung his pieces down off a cliff's edge to crash land in undiluted pleasure, uncertainty, and fear. Everything was amazing -- brilliant. Like his soul just woke up from a nap to smile at him and rejoin the rest of him, and that meant bad things… so something must be…

"Baby, hang on…"

Something was going on with his body, but Sasuke didn't know what. Didn't care. He was too busy waiting for the earth to swallow him in an unforgiving maw, though distantly he heard someone begging and pleading for understanding.

"I know, Sas, I know…"

Suddenly he could move -- _was_ moving -- but not on his own accord. Naruto -- Master -- scooped him up and wrapped around him. Shaking, shivering, covered in sweat and semen and all he could feel was--

"I love you, too, baby. Right here. Got you."

Sasuke blinked, found he could see, and a stone dropped into a still, silent pond: over and over, Sasuke whispered the same three words: 

_"I love you."_

"Shhh…" Naruto -- petting, touching, holding tight. Sasuke -- trembling, clinging, sobbing hard. "I know, Sas. I know."

"I… I…" Sasuke caught his breath and clung to it. "I screwed up…?" Sasuke hiccoughed.

"You're amazing," Naruto answered.

"But I…"

"Never seen anything so incredible in my life, Sasuke."

"But… but… you didn't tell me I could--"

"You couldn't have pleased me more."

Lips to his hair, a shift and a kiss to his mouth. Sasuke blinked at wet blue eyes and touched Naruto's cheek in confusion. Naruto pushed Sasuke's hair back out of his face. "You're always exactly what I want."

Sasuke's chest hitched in a sob he couldn't quite stop or feel bad about, and he shook his head. "But I… wanted to be better for you."

"Baby, you're breakin' my heart. You're wonder--"

"No," Sasuke said, swallowing and clearer. "I'm not. I _know_ I'm not. You were shocked I brought you a damned drink, and… I couldn't even get here when I _said_. And I love… love you. So much. Naru…" Sasuke felt like he couldn't fill his lungs fast enough. " _You're_ what I want. You're what I _always_ want. And I never…" A kiss silenced Sasuke, and after an insistent second, he returned it. 

"Sasuke," Naruto said in the rich voice that inspired attention despite all else. "Look at me and listen."

Sasuke obeyed, and Naruto kissed him, light and quick, until Sasuke's breathing took on sturdier undertones.

"There's my boy," Naruto whispered. "That's better."

Sasuke nodded, trying to calm down and hear what Naruto had to say. Sasuke didn't want to miss a single consonant ever again.

"You show me every day you love me, Sasuke."

Sasuke almost interrupted, caught the warning gleam in Naruto's eyes, and shut his mouth. Fingertips traced the shape of his face, made him shiver, and Naruto pulled the covers higher on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke blinked; he had no idea when the hell those had appeared.

"The way I figure, you're beautiful, brilliant, powerful, and can do anything you want if you put your mind and will behind it." As Naruto spoke -- slow, rumbling, deeper than normal -- Sasuke's breathing grew deeper, his tears flowed, but silently, and he unwound in Naruto's arms.

"Sure, you've got flaws and baggage, but everybody does. And Sas, I may tease you about it, but the truth is I think you'd be fine on your own." Naruto swallowed, and Sasuke kissed his chin. "Don't want that. Don't _ever_ want that, but you could do it. I mean it when I say you can do anything."

"Naru…" 

"So I figure you stay with me because you want to," Naruto continued, smiling a little, now, and cupping Sasuke's face. "You're all I want in the world, and so every day when I wake up and you're still here, that's you tellin' me that you love me."

Relief and exhaustion and incomprehensible trust swept over Sasuke, and Naruto pulled them closer. "Everything's all right, Sas."

"I… want you…"

"Not going anywhere." Naruto guided Sasuke until he was tucked under Naruto's chin. "Love that you came like that; damn near came myself watchin' it."

"But don't you want to--"

"Course I do. But later. Right now, want to hold you."

"I don't deserve you," Sasuke mumbled into Naruto's chest.

"No, you deserve more," Naruto agreed. "But I'll try to do better."

Sasuke shook with one last sob, held aloft to the light by mutual efforts to be what the other needed and wanted.

"Love you," Naruto whispered.

And Sasuke slept.

~*~

Early morning lit up the drapes in gray light across the room, and Naruto's hand found Sasuke's to lace their fingers together.

" _Oooh_ …" Sasuke moaned, soft and lazy as his head went back, his hips rolled, and Naruto thrust to meet him in the middle. Naruto's cock slid over his prostate, the angle perfect with practice and Naru's girth, and Sasuke shivered.

"Fuck," Naruto cursed beneath Sasuke, clutching at Sasuke's thigh. His head turned from side to side, mouth open in pleasure, and his touch slid to Sasuke's dick: enfolded and dragged in time.

" _Nnn_ , yeah…" Sasuke encouraged. "Naru… God, yeah…"

"Can't last…" Naruto gasped. "You're gonna make me come if you keep…"

Sasuke slowed the grind-swivel to a crawl, smiling as Naruto darkened the air with invective. Naruto's hand sped its pace, making them both gasp as Sasuke grew harder and tightened around Naruto's cock.

"Love you," Sasuke said, letting his head fall forward to meet Naruto's lust-drenched, dark-dazed, eyes. "Want you." A rise and fall, and Sasuke got lost in staring at Naruto's lips. "Need you."

"Mine… oh God…" Naruto chased Sasuke's retreating body, but Sasuke merely lifted further, maintaining the rhythm he knew would get him off and drive Naruto to the brink and back time and time again before Sasuke finally let Naruto fall into relieved release.

"Yours, Master," Sasuke murmured, watching and holding and deliberately bearing down on Naruto's dick so deeply inside his body that his lover's taste bloomed to life on his tongue.

"My name, Sas…" Naruto breathed. "Please… baby… just…"

"Naru," Sasuke crooned, over and over and interspersing the pace with quick jerks that made Naruto's back bow.

"My Naru…"

"Fuck… _fuck_ …oh, God… _please_ …"

Sasuke laughed, heard Naruto whisper, " _So damned beautiful_ …" and finally had mercy. No faster, but harder; a concentration of slide on Naruto's head that almost made them lose their connection and then a sink to swivel, drag, rock. Breathing quickened, Naruto stroked Sasuke in just _that_ way and made him see stars; timed it so that depth was met with a twist to Sasuke's head. Cursing, clutching; the smell of sex and men and need and finally the sound of Naruto coming unraveled in unbridled relief beneath Sasuke, and the sight of tendons tight in Naruto's neck and the way his body froze while his hand still worked made Sasuke's orgasm loom, linger, lunge.

"Love you," Sasuke gasped, though perhaps unclear, but as he spilled over Naruto's fist he didn't think it mattered. Nothing did; not really, because Naruto sighed with notes of undiluted happiness, and Sasuke wanted to hear that sound every day for the rest of his life. No matter what, he would do whatever he had to do so that he could stay with Naruto. His one, his only, his heart.

"Love you, too," Naruto said as Sasuke fell into Naruto's awaiting arms. "Always."

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Howdy gang! Posting this one here, too, as thought it'd be good to round out this series. I wrote this for CorsetCase, who won the D/s Naruto contest in 2011.
> 
> In order, the Naru/Sasu stories go "Salvation," "Breaking Point," "Breaking the Rules," and then, "Breaking the Pattern." 
> 
> Sasuke and Shikamaru continue the chat they began in "Checkmate" in this story.
> 
> Remember these two are highly dysfunctional, even if they ARE getting to the point where they're less so. Do heed all my warnings/tags/etc.
> 
> ∞ For all information about Monoshizukanohi that you never knew you wanted to know, click [HERE](http://demented-dee.livejournal.com/12226.html).
> 
> ∞ I don’t own any characters in any fandom; I just entice them into doing things they never thought possible. The originals though, if present, are all mine. I also own the world, Monoshizukanohi, and all the places therein. 
> 
> ∞ Some stories have audio read by me, myself, and I – and occasional special guests! All audio can be found [RIGHT HERE](https://www.4shared.com/dir/37719989/28e7765d/Audio_Readings.html#dir=Unh-MNl5)
> 
> ∞ Want more? Check out my other stories here or head over to my [Demented-Ink headquarters](https://www.demented-ink.com/). It’s a one-stop shop for everything I’m up to. You’ll find [Kelly Wyre’s Lair](https://www.demented-ink.com/kelly-wyre-lair) on the Port-of-Call menu. Under that name, I write the [New Amsterdam series](http://kelly-wyre.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-world-of-new-amsterdam.html), as well as many other [LGBTQ-friendly books and novellas](https://www.amazon.com/Kelly-Wyre/e/B00IURAYJM), both singly and in collaboration with other authors. I also [vlog](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP732llZpxt6YAD4-9-pwww), [blog](https://www.demented-ink.com/blog), and generally live, breathe, and sleep all things Story. Some projects are just starting, so pardon my construction dust. And make sure to stop by [Smoke Signals](https://www.demented-ink.com/smoke-signals) and keep in touch!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Much love & changes,  
> ♥Dee


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